3 BEGGAR STORY ...

One day at a traffic ... there are three beggars were gathered to talk about their work on one day ...

beggars 1: nice folks, let's count our profits today ...

beggars 2 & 3: come on ...

beggars 1: Thank god. ... my get 2 million today ...

beggar 2: wow fantastic ... how to do? (with a curious tone)

beggars 1: hahahahahahahhaha .... It's easy ... my just pretended blind ..., let them in pity ...

beggar 2: oh .... so so yah? but still a lot of me ... my can be 5 million ...

beggars 1: wah?? how to do? (in disbelief)

beggar 2: it's easy ... I pretended my leg stump of their result on sorry ... ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah

Beggar 3 paused only a second look theme cool to talk ...

beggars 1: hey, you know why? why so sad?

beggar 2: From when did you not say anything ... tell me how muchyour could?

beggars 3: Today, I did not get anything ... every time I approach the people, they quickly run away ... it looks like they repulsed away from me

beggars 1: why?

penegmis 2: What is trick your today? What you have notshowered, so people on the run?

beggars 3: not so ... I tried a new trick ... I think it would work ... uh ...turned out pesky

beggar 1 & 2: What's the trick?

beggars 3: (innocently) I pretended amputated my head, hoping they in pity ... and it turns out, they run away ...

INJECTION NEEDLES

A girl came for treatment and after review by a physician, she was injected with an additional request, DO NOT BE A BIG NEEDLE

Doctors began to take a disposable injection and the girl as she squirmed on the bed mengeliat check possible for fear of saying over and over,

"Doc, do not be a big needle ..."

Because doctors are already annoyed preparing injectable medications in the injections showed the girl as she says

"Here, is small needle anyway, if a large mine ..."

The girl stared past his own smiles.

FORTUNATELY NOT MONDAY

A husband who caught his wife was cheating with men who did not know, spontaneous killing both.

These events occurred on the day Tuesday last week. Later this week she on trial with the maximum demands death penalty, 's awful news be the topic of conversation among the neighbors of the husband and wife are not yet blessed with children,

In a lively chat diwarung afternoon coffee, who presume to know-know a handsome, which is one of their close neighbors said relief:

"Still lucky, the occurrence is not on Monday, friends ... ... ..",

"Then on Monday if so what ... ...",

"If it happens on Monday, who was murdered by her husband that death instead of that poor man, but MEEE ... ".

SPEECH ON TART

A man goes into a cake shop and order a cake for a birthday party his wife.

"What would be written on the anniversary 's tart, sir?" Asked the sweet girl who cater to him.

"Mmmm, just write 'Honey, you're not getting older' at the top, and connect with 'Honey, you're only more beautiful' at the bottom ..." said the man.

The next day, he came to take tartnya and continue to bring home to his wife offered to a dear in front of other guests.

And when the tart that opened in the front his wife and other guests invited, he had nearly fainted when I read the text contained in that tart:

"'HONEY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING OLDER' AT THE TOP."

"'HONEY, YOU'RE ONLY MORE BEAUTIFUL' AT THE BOTTOM."

WHO'S NOT POLITE

Tracy, a woman employee of a foreign private office, want to go to work that morning and was waiting for city buses in front of the road not far from her home.

As usual clothing worn tight enough, mini skirt, so that her body looks more sexy curves of her body.

City bus arrived, Tracy tried to ride through the back door, but why not nyampe feet on the steps of the bus. Recognizing the tightness of her skirt, left hand stuck out rearward to lower the zipper of her skirt so that a little bit loose.

But, she still did not go up, repeat again lowered the zipper of her skirt. Still not able to ride well into the bus stairs.

To attempt a third time, has not de-grade she lower the zipper of her skirt again, suddenly there was a strong hand pushed her ass from behind until Tracy jumped and went inside the bus.

Tracy look back to know who is pushed her, there were long-haired young man was grinning to see Tracy.

"Hey, you insolent, rude dare, touching someone's ass!"

The young man said calmly: "That rude is you, do not know already dared to lower my pants zipper"

DIABETES PAIN

In a community health center in the area were minimal pelaratan there was a male patient being examined by a doctor his blood by pricking her finger device to the patient, but because the blood would not come out bu the doctors do not mind losing a finger inserted in the patient's mouth to aspirated .
"Ma'am. actually I was not pain finger, but I am pain with diabetes "said the patient was
With the face of shame, woman doctor told her patient, "Sir if the examination that not here but there '
Doctors said woman, pointing to the localization of "prostitution" ...

TIPS FOR THE HUSBAND WHO START LACKLUSTER IN BED ..

A woman came home and preached to her husband if menahunnya migraine disease was cured completely. Apparently he went to visit hypnotists. She was taught for bersugesti and told to stand facing the mirror, then looked at his eyes as he repeated the words "I do not have a migraine, I do not have a migraine, my do not have a migraine!" The result? Migraine was gone ..

  "Wow ... really great, honey!", Said her husband. The wife then said, "Honey, you know yourself, lately you are not passionate and slumped on the bed. What if you also to the hypnotist therapy? "

The husband agreed and left. After joining, he went home immediately ripped off his clothes, holding his wife and took her to the room.

She placed the wife who was smiling affectionately at the bed and said, "Do not go anywhere, I'll be right back!" He went to the bathroom, returned several minutes later, jumped into the bed and they were soon involved in a romance that is burning, yet the wife never felt before, "Wow ... you're incredible!"

Eit! That is not done nothing. Do not go everywhere. I'll be right back! "Again the husband went into the bathroom, go back to bed and start the second round of even more hot again.

Round 3 was again the husband says, "Be right back!" This time, he praised the "greatness" of the husband, the wife secretly followed him and there he saw her husband standing in front of the mirror and said, "She was is not my wife ... ! She was is not my wife ...! She was secretary ...! She was secretary ...!

GRANDFATHER RIDICULOUS

In a famous hospital of a grandfather who would meet his end beg something to his relatives for the last time in order to kiss the flag of Afghanistan, just the whole atmosphere of the room to be noisy. Family complained, this time of night how to get the flag Afghanistan who are less popular and hard at looking for, but 's last request, must be granted degan keluaga any way!

In the end there was a good-hearted nurse who gave the solution. Shyly, a nurse approached one of the family.

Nurse: "I have a flag Afghanistan, but my tattoo on my butt !!!".., atmosphere became more rowdy. The whole family was parley.

Family: "Let our nurse will pay any price, provided that my grandfather can go quietly to the side of God .."

With a solemn feeling, emotion and teary eyes, the kissed the flag of Afghanistan grandfather ..

Grandfather (With a trembling voice): ... .... "nurse, please turn around. I also want to kiss Osama Bin Laden .. "

BECAUSE OF THE THUMB

Mr. Joseph entered a fancy restaurant and order a complete set of warm tea, appetizer, dessert and a warm ginger juice.

Shortly thereafter, the tea arrived, but Mr. Joseph was surprised to see the waiter right thumb into his tea. Mr. Joseph thought, "Wow crazy, but maybe not on purpose ...." With quietly breathed his tea, three minutes later escorted mushroom soup, the waiter also gee thumbs in!

Although already upset, but this is a fancy restaurant so do not be angry at random like in a roadside diner customers.

"Patience," in the heart of the Sir Joseph. Expires appointed soup bowl, come spaghetti.

"Damn ...! thumbs go well. Well, it's gone too far ... "But because the hunger, anger with the intention ditahanlah would later call the restaurant manager ...

Was devoured spaghetti and her eyes began to look for the manager. Out spaghetti, Mr. Joseph await warm ginger juice, and ... "Damn 's waitress. His thumb also come into the warm ginger juice. "

Mr. Joseph fury shouted loudly "Hey, manager of here!" Hie the manager arrived. "What is it sir?"

Mr. Joseph fierce, "That's your guys are crazy. The period of his right thumb into all food and drinks that I'm order! "

With surprise the manager asked, "Really, sir? Billy you're here, what you put your thumb right guest orders? "

Billy replied, "Yes, sir!" So the manager angry, "Damn you ..!!, Why did you do that? you've been taught that it is not allowed! "

Mr. Joseph glad that attention, he thought in the heart ... "Well, eat free here."

Billy replied, "sprained my thumb, sir. said doctors should keep be warmed, the food is warm, so I put my thumb on it. "

At that, Mr. Joseph angry, "Damn you, want to warm it? If you want warm, let I teach, insert your thumb into your ass hole ..!!, warm in there ..!!!"

Billy 's innocent-looking, answered calmly, "Yes sir ... I know, if longer waiting for food in the kitchen, usually I ALSO ENTER my thumb in there first ..."

STUPID ROBBER

A robber entered a store, to the cashier, and immediately shouted, "Open your safe! Hand over your money! "

The cashier replied calmly, "Sorry, we can not serve you. We've closed a minute ago! "

The robber then said, "Okay, then I'll be back tomorrow morning ..."

STRANDED FOR 10 YEARS OLD

There was a guy stranded on an island with no inhabitants, has been almost 10 years old he was there while waiting for anyone passing by the beach. Once, there was a cute girl passing by boat, the girl was also pulled over to help the guy ...

Guy: "Finally came also help here! Thank God! "

Girl: "Relax, me'll save you. When was the last time you eat well? "

Guy: "10 years ago!"

The girl opened her bag and gave food to the boy, and the boy was eating until the food runs out.

Girl: "When was the last time you drink beer?"

Guy: "10 years ago!"

The girl issued a beer from the bag and taken away by the guy.

Eventually the girl so fancied seeing the guy, then he would invite sex for fun ...

"When was the last time you really feel the FUN AND SATISFACTION?" Asked the girl, her pants open.

Guy: "WAW! Do not tell you if you save a recreational park in there! "

A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

Our friendship is so beautiful .. You laugh, I will laugh .. You're crying, I'm crying .. You fall from the tree, I laughed until cried.

RAPE

A criminal escaped from prison after jailed for 20 years old. In escape, he went to a house and broke into it to looking for money. But found only a pair of young bride sleeping on the bed. Prisoners ordered that the man down from the bed and tied him in the chair.

Then he tied the woman to the bed, the prisoner's kiss her neck, and hurried to the bathroom.

While the prisoner was in the bathroom, her husband whispered to his wife

"My wife, this guy is a criminal who escaped from prison. Look at the clothes used, he may be long in prison and had never touched a woman in a long time. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, do not resist, do not complain, do as he wishes, give satisfaction. This guy is dangerous, if angry, he can kill us. So hang in there honey. I Love You ... "

Replied the wife, "He was not kissing my neck. But he whispered to ear. He said he gay and he thinks you're sexy as hell and he asked where the body lotion? I replied in the bathroom. Hold honey .. I Love You Too ... "

GENIE LUXURY HOMES

A couple playing golf near a luxury housing. Because of the spirit, swing from Cindy, the name of the woman, so strong that a golf ball on the glass house nearby. They were surprised that an ancient vase from China also was broken because hit a golf ball. "Sorry. My wife accidentally, "said Alvin, her husband, the Man who sits in the house. "Thank you. You set me free from the shackles of the vase. I am a genie and I would pass three wishes because that 's. For you, your wife, and for me, "he said. "What is your request?" "I want each month a billion dollars in my account," asked Alvin. "Abracadabra. Check your account, "he said. "Then, you?" Asked the Mr. to Cindy. "I want for luxury jewelry," She replied. "Abracadabra. Already done, you can see in your closet drawer! "The man said again. "Then, what you request, Mr. Genie?" Asked Alvin. "I want to make love with your wife," replied the Man.. They were surprised. But because the genie are generous to give everything,  they was allowed Cindy to accompany the genie. All day Cindy serve the sexual needs of Mr. Genie. Toward evening that Man allow Cindy to go home. "Thanks," he said. "Indeed, how old are you?" Said Mr. Genie. "I am 25 years old," says Cindy. "25 years old still believing genie?" Said the Man .

NEW BRIDE MEN KILLED IN HER HONEYMOON FIRST NIGHT

A young man reportedly died at the home of a 75-year-old widow who just married a few days ago. The man was found dead with the body was blue and foaming at the mouth. The body of the man immediately evacuated to the nearest Hospital morgue for autopsy interests.

After the autopsy, turned out the man had died of poisoning sour milk ... 

STORY OF MAIL'S PRISONERS IN DETENTION

There was a father wrote a letter to his son who was in a prison for accused terrorist movement.

It reads: "Alvin, your father is old, now is the season of planting corn, and you are detained in prisons all, who want to help the father of this corn hoeing the garden?"

Eh, his son returned the letter several weeks later. "For God's sake, do not hoe the garden, I planted a weapon in there," the boy said in the letter.

Apparently the letter was censored the house of detention, then the next day after the father received a letter, came a platoon of soldiers to see him.

Without a word they immediately into the garden of corn and busy all day digging in the garden soil. After they left, returning the father wrote a letter to his son.

"Alvin, after the father of have your letter, came a platoon of soldiers search for weapons in our cornfield, but without result. What should father do now? "

The boy again replied to the letter, "Now you began planting corn alone, because it was dug by the soldiers, and do not forget to thank them."

Hand house prisoners who censor this letter immediately fainted.

WIFE SAVER

Husband: "Honey, I have money 10 dollars, please be satisfied for a week, and hopefully be for a month."

Wife 1: "OK honey, it could be for a year."

Husband: "gee, I was very lucky to have a wife like you. It's good, pretty, saving more! What could be bought for 10 dollars for a year, honey? "

Wife: "I bought CALENDAR, honey ..."

PLAYING PIGGYBACK

When little Tommy passed his parents room, he heard a noise. Incidentally the door unlocked. Then Tommy came in and saw His father was moving on top of his mother's. Tommy naively approached and jumped into his father's back, want to play piggyback.

His father was shocked, but because he thought Tommy did not understand anything, he just shook his wife go riding on his back while Tommy.

Not long after his mother's begin to moan and the longer the moaning got louder. Tommy said: "Let's get a strong grip, Dad! If you have this Mommy is usually Uncle Sam and I will be bounced! "

U.S. INTEL LIKE WANT TO HAVE GENITAL THE CAMEL

There was a U.S. soldier into intelligence on Iraq. He was given the camel vehicle. Along the way the feet of the camel kicked an object, after investigation it turns out that a magic lamp, recalling the ancient story about a magic lamp that he rubbed out his genie.

And it's true after the washing out of the genie,

" Poh Huahahaha pah! thank you my lord, now you have three requests "

"Are you sure?" Said the soldier

"Yes," replied the genie,

"OK first I want to be like arnold swazeneger, then the second one I want to be U.S. president"

"Then!" said the genie,

"The third, my genitals is small (pointing at the genitals) I want my genitals are like camels (camel pointing)" More soldiers.

"Ok!" Said the genie, "but all is tomorow (tomorrow morning),"

After a morning wake up the intelligence, well he was proud to see a large body like arnold, then he remembered that the second request "Oh yes, where I" after opening the window "wow! In the White House, I've become president, what about the third request ! he opened his pants and then,

"Waaaaaa!"

Apparently a female camel!

PLANE CRASH

A reporter interviewed the only passenger who survived the plane crash (a circus monkey who can speak).

Journalist: "you can tell me the cause of the accident?"

Monkey: "ok."

Journalist: "when the planes take-off, what is being done all the people?"

Monkey: "passengers are seated, the stewardess demonstrate how to deal with accidents, the pilot hold the steering wheel."

Journalist: "what are you doing?"

Monkey: "i also sat down."

Journalist: after 10 minutes in the air, what is everyone doing?

Monkey: "passengers are seated, the stewardess to share a snack, hold the steering wheel the pilot."

Journalist: "what are you doing?"

Monkey: "eat a banana."

Journalist: "after 20 minutes, the people doing?"

Monkey: "passengers to the toilet, etc., the flight attendants serve the passengers, the pilot hold the steering wheel."

Journalist: "what are you doing?"

Monkey: "i was sitting. "

Journalist: "after 30 minutes, what is everyone doing?"

Monkey: "passengers sleep, flight attendants to the the pilot, the pilot hold the steering wheel."

Journalist: "what are you doing?"

Monkey: "i walk ngikutin stewardess."

Journalist: "after 45 minutes, the people doing?"

Monkey: "passengers fell asleep, kiss stewardess the pilot, the pilot responded continued to feel around."

Journalist: "what are you doing?"

Monkey: "i hold the steering wheel."

Journalist: "no wonder !!!!"