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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

3 BEGGAR STORY ...


One day at a traffic ... there are three beggars were gathered to talk about their work on one day ...
beggars 1: nice folks, let's count our profits today ...
beggars 2 & 3: come on ...
beggars 1: Thank god. ... my get 2 million today ...
beggar 2: wow fantastic ... how to do? (with a curious tone)
beggars 1: hahahahahahahhaha .... It's easy ... my just pretended blind ..., let them in pity ...
beggar 2: oh .... so so yah? but still a lot of me ... my can be 5 million ...
beggars 1: wah?? how to do? (in disbelief)
beggar 2: it's easy ... I pretended my leg stump of their result on sorry ... ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah
Beggar 3 paused only a second look theme cool to talk ...
beggars 1: hey, you know why? why so sad?
beggar 2: From when did you not say anything ... tell me how muchyour could?
beggars 3: Today, I did not get anything ... every time I approach the people, they quickly run away ... it looks like they repulsed away from me
beggars 1: why?
penegmis 2: What is trick your today? What you have notshowered, so people on the run?
beggars 3: not so ... I tried a new trick ... I think it would work ... uh ...turned out pesky
beggar 1 & 2: What's the trick?
beggars 3: (innocently) I pretended amputated my head, hoping they in pity ... and it turns out, they run away ...


INJECTION NEEDLES


A girl came for treatment and after review by a physician, she was injected with an additional request, DO NOT BE A BIG NEEDLE

Doctors began to take a disposable injection and the girl as she squirmed on the bed mengeliat check possible for fear of saying over and over,

"Doc, do not be a big needle ..."

Because doctors are already annoyed preparing injectable medications in the injections showed the girl as she says
"Here, is small needle anyway, if a large mine ..."
The girl stared past his own smiles.

FORTUNATELY NOT MONDAY


A husband who caught his wife was cheating with men who did not know, spontaneous killing both.
These events occurred on the day Tuesday last week. Later this week she on trial with the maximum demands death penalty, 's awful news be the topic of conversation among the neighbors of the husband and wife are not yet blessed with children,
In a lively chat diwarung afternoon coffee, who presume to know-know a handsome, which is one of their close neighbors said relief:
"Still lucky, the occurrence is not on Monday, friends ... ... ..",
"Then on Monday if so what ... ...",
"If it happens on Monday, who was murdered by her husband that death instead of that poor man, but MEEE ... ".

SPEECH ON TART


A man goes into a cake shop and order a cake for a birthday party his wife.
"What would be written on the anniversary 's tart, sir?" Asked the sweet girl who cater to him.
"Mmmm, just write 'Honey, you're not getting older' at the top, and connect with 'Honey, you're only more beautiful' at the bottom ..." said the man.
The next day, he came to take tartnya and continue to bring home to his wife offered to a dear in front of other guests.
And when the tart that opened in the front his wife and other guests invited, he had nearly fainted when I read the text contained in that tart:
"'HONEY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING OLDER' AT THE TOP."
"'HONEY, YOU'RE ONLY MORE BEAUTIFUL' AT THE BOTTOM."

WHO'S NOT POLITE


Tracy, a woman employee of a foreign private office, want to go to work that morning and was waiting for city buses in front of the road not far from her home.
As usual clothing worn tight enough, mini skirt, so that her body looks more sexy curves of her body.
City bus arrived, Tracy tried to ride through the back door, but why not nyampe feet on the steps of the bus. Recognizing the tightness of her skirt, left hand stuck out rearward to lower the zipper of her skirt so that a little bit loose.
But, she still did not go up, repeat again lowered the zipper of her skirt. Still not able to ride well into the bus stairs.
To attempt a third time, has not de-grade she lower the zipper of her skirt again, suddenly there was a strong hand pushed her ass from behind until Tracy jumped and went inside the bus.
Tracy look back to know who is pushed her, there were long-haired young man was grinning to see Tracy.
"Hey, you insolent, rude dare, touching someone's ass!"
The young man said calmly: "That rude is you, do not know already dared to lower my pants zipper"

DIABETES PAIN


In a community health center in the area were minimal pelaratan there was a male patient being examined by a doctor his blood by pricking her finger device to the patient, but because the blood would not come out bu the doctors do not mind losing a finger inserted in the patient's mouth to aspirated .
"Ma'am. actually I was not pain finger, but I am pain with diabetes "said the patient was
With the face of shame, woman doctor told her patient, "Sir if the examination that not here but there '
Doctors said woman, pointing to the localization of "prostitution" ...

TIPS FOR THE HUSBAND WHO START LACKLUSTER IN BED ..


A woman came home and preached to her husband if menahunnya migraine disease was cured completely. Apparently he went to visit hypnotists. She was taught for bersugesti and told to stand facing the mirror, then looked at his eyes as he repeated the words "I do not have a migraine, I do not have a migraine, my do not have a migraine!" The result? Migraine was gone ..
  "Wow ... really great, honey!", Said her husband. The wife then said, "Honey, you know yourself, lately you are not passionate and slumped on the bed. What if you also to the hypnotist therapy? "
The husband agreed and left. After joining, he went home immediately ripped off his clothes, holding his wife and took her to the room.
She placed the wife who was smiling affectionately at the bed and said, "Do not go anywhere, I'll be right back!" He went to the bathroom, returned several minutes later, jumped into the bed and they were soon involved in a romance that is burning, yet the wife never felt before, "Wow ... you're incredible!"
Eit! That is not done nothing. Do not go everywhere. I'll be right back! "Again the husband went into the bathroom, go back to bed and start the second round of even more hot again.
Round 3 was again the husband says, "Be right back!" This time, he praised the "greatness" of the husband, the wife secretly followed him and there he saw her husband standing in front of the mirror and said, "She was is not my wife ... ! She was is not my wife ...! She was secretary ...! She was secretary ...!

GRANDFATHER RIDICULOUS


In a famous hospital of a grandfather who would meet his end beg something to his relatives for the last time in order to kiss the flag of Afghanistan, just the whole atmosphere of the room to be noisy. Family complained, this time of night how to get the flag Afghanistan who are less popular and hard at looking for, but 's last request, must be granted degan keluaga any way!

In the end there was a good-hearted nurse who gave the solution. Shyly, a nurse approached one of the family.

Nurse: "I have a flag Afghanistan, but my tattoo on my butt !!!".., atmosphere became more rowdy. The whole family was parley.

Family: "Let our nurse will pay any price, provided that my grandfather can go quietly to the side of God .."

With a solemn feeling, emotion and teary eyes, the kissed the flag of Afghanistan grandfather ..
Grandfather (With a trembling voice): ... .... "nurse, please turn around. I also want to kiss Osama Bin Laden .. "

BECAUSE OF THE THUMB


Mr. Joseph entered a fancy restaurant and order a complete set of warm tea, appetizer, dessert and a warm ginger juice.
Shortly thereafter, the tea arrived, but Mr. Joseph was surprised to see the waiter right thumb into his tea. Mr. Joseph thought, "Wow crazy, but maybe not on purpose ...." With quietly breathed his tea, three minutes later escorted mushroom soup, the waiter also gee thumbs in!
Although already upset, but this is a fancy restaurant so do not be angry at random like in a roadside diner customers.
"Patience," in the heart of the Sir Joseph. Expires appointed soup bowl, come spaghetti.
"Damn ...! thumbs go well. Well, it's gone too far ... "But because the hunger, anger with the intention ditahanlah would later call the restaurant manager ...
Was devoured spaghetti and her eyes began to look for the manager. Out spaghetti, Mr. Joseph await warm ginger juice, and ... "Damn 's waitress. His thumb also come into the warm ginger juice. "
Mr. Joseph fury shouted loudly "Hey, manager of here!" Hie the manager arrived. "What is it sir?"
Mr. Joseph fierce, "That's your guys are crazy. The period of his right thumb into all food and drinks that I'm order! "
With surprise the manager asked, "Really, sir? Billy you're here, what you put your thumb right guest orders? "
Billy replied, "Yes, sir!" So the manager angry, "Damn you ..!!, Why did you do that? you've been taught that it is not allowed! "
Mr. Joseph glad that attention, he thought in the heart ... "Well, eat free here."
Billy replied, "sprained my thumb, sir. said doctors should keep be warmed, the food is warm, so I put my thumb on it. "
At that, Mr. Joseph angry, "Damn you, want to warm it? If you want warm, let I teach, insert your thumb into your ass hole ..!!, warm in there ..!!!"
Billy 's innocent-looking, answered calmly, "Yes sir ... I know, if longer waiting for food in the kitchen, usually I ALSO ENTER my thumb in there first ..."

STUPID ROBBER


A robber entered a store, to the cashier, and immediately shouted, "Open your safe! Hand over your money! "

The cashier replied calmly, "Sorry, we can not serve you. We've closed a minute ago! "
The robber then said, "Okay, then I'll be back tomorrow morning ..."

STRANDED FOR 10 YEARS OLD


There was a guy stranded on an island with no inhabitants, has been almost 10 years old he was there while waiting for anyone passing by the beach. Once, there was a cute girl passing by boat, the girl was also pulled over to help the guy ...
Guy: "Finally came also help here! Thank God! "
Girl: "Relax, me'll save you. When was the last time you eat well? "
Guy: "10 years ago!"
The girl opened her bag and gave food to the boy, and the boy was eating until the food runs out.
Girl: "When was the last time you drink beer?"
Guy: "10 years ago!"
The girl issued a beer from the bag and taken away by the guy.
Eventually the girl so fancied seeing the guy, then he would invite sex for fun ...
"When was the last time you really feel the FUN AND SATISFACTION?" Asked the girl, her pants open.
Guy: "WAW! Do not tell you if you save a recreational park in there! "

A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP


Our friendship is so beautiful .. You laugh, I will laugh .. You're crying, I'm crying .. You fall from the tree, I laughed until cried.

RAPE


A criminal escaped from prison after jailed for 20 years old. In escape, he went to a house and broke into it to looking for money. But found only a pair of young bride sleeping on the bed. Prisoners ordered that the man down from the bed and tied him in the chair.
Then he tied the woman to the bed, the prisoner's kiss her neck, and hurried to the bathroom.
While the prisoner was in the bathroom, her husband whispered to his wife
"My wife, this guy is a criminal who escaped from prison. Look at the clothes used, he may be long in prison and had never touched a woman in a long time. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, do not resist, do not complain, do as he wishes, give satisfaction. This guy is dangerous, if angry, he can kill us. So hang in there honey. I Love You ... "
Replied the wife, "He was not kissing my neck. But he whispered to ear. He said he gay and he thinks you're sexy as hell and he asked where the body lotion? I replied in the bathroom. Hold honey .. I Love You Too ... "

GENIE LUXURY HOMES


A couple playing golf near a luxury housing. Because of the spirit, swing from Cindy, the name of the woman, so strong that a golf ball on the glass house nearby. They were surprised that an ancient vase from China also was broken because hit a golf ball. "Sorry. My wife accidentally, "said Alvin, her husband, the Man who sits in the house. "Thank you. You set me free from the shackles of the vase. I am a genie and I would pass three wishes because that 's. For you, your wife, and for me, "he said. "What is your request?" "I want each month a billion dollars in my account," asked Alvin. "Abracadabra. Check your account, "he said. "Then, you?" Asked the Mr. to Cindy. "I want for luxury jewelry," She replied. "Abracadabra. Already done, you can see in your closet drawer! "The man said again. "Then, what you request, Mr. Genie?" Asked Alvin. "I want to make love with your wife," replied the Man.. They were surprised. But because the genie are generous to give everything,  they was allowed Cindy to accompany the genie. All day Cindy serve the sexual needs of Mr. Genie. Toward evening that Man allow Cindy to go home. "Thanks," he said. "Indeed, how old are you?" Said Mr. Genie. "I am 25 years old," says Cindy. "25 years old still believing genie?" Said the Man .


NEW BRIDE MEN KILLED IN HER HONEYMOON FIRST NIGHT

A young man reportedly died at the home of a 75-year-old widow who just married a few days ago. The man was found dead with the body was blue and foaming at the mouth. The body of the man immediately evacuated to the nearest Hospital morgue for autopsy interests.
After the autopsy, turned out the man had died of poisoning sour milk ... 

STORY OF MAIL'S PRISONERS IN DETENTION


There was a father wrote a letter to his son who was in a prison for accused terrorist movement.
It reads: "Alvin, your father is old, now is the season of planting corn, and you are detained in prisons all, who want to help the father of this corn hoeing the garden?"
Eh, his son returned the letter several weeks later. "For God's sake, do not hoe the garden, I planted a weapon in there," the boy said in the letter.
Apparently the letter was censored the house of detention, then the next day after the father received a letter, came a platoon of soldiers to see him.
Without a word they immediately into the garden of corn and busy all day digging in the garden soil. After they left, returning the father wrote a letter to his son.
"Alvin, after the father of have your letter, came a platoon of soldiers search for weapons in our cornfield, but without result. What should father do now? "
The boy again replied to the letter, "Now you began planting corn alone, because it was dug by the soldiers, and do not forget to thank them."
Hand house prisoners who censor this letter immediately fainted.

WIFE SAVER


Husband: "Honey, I have money 10 dollars, please be satisfied for a week, and hopefully be for a month."
Wife 1: "OK honey, it could be for a year."
Husband: "gee, I was very lucky to have a wife like you. It's good, pretty, saving more! What could be bought for 10 dollars for a year, honey? "
Wife: "I bought CALENDAR, honey ..."

PLAYING PIGGYBACK


When little Tommy passed his parents room, he heard a noise. Incidentally the door unlocked. Then Tommy came in and saw His father was moving on top of his mother's. Tommy naively approached and jumped into his father's back, want to play piggyback.
His father was shocked, but because he thought Tommy did not understand anything, he just shook his wife go riding on his back while Tommy.
Not long after his mother's begin to moan and the longer the moaning got louder. Tommy said: "Let's get a strong grip, Dad! If you have this Mommy is usually Uncle Sam and I will be bounced! "

U.S. INTEL LIKE WANT TO HAVE GENITAL THE CAMEL


There was a U.S. soldier into intelligence on Iraq. He was given the camel vehicle. Along the way the feet of the camel kicked an object, after investigation it turns out that a magic lamp, recalling the ancient story about a magic lamp that he rubbed out his genie.
And it's true after the washing out of the genie,
" Poh Huahahaha pah! thank you my lord, now you have three requests "
"Are you sure?" Said the soldier
"Yes," replied the genie,
"OK first I want to be like arnold swazeneger, then the second one I want to be U.S. president"
"Then!" said the genie,
"The third, my genitals is small (pointing at the genitals) I want my genitals are like camels (camel pointing)" More soldiers.
"Ok!" Said the genie, "but all is tomorow (tomorrow morning),"
After a morning wake up the intelligence, well he was proud to see a large body like arnold, then he remembered that the second request "Oh yes, where I" after opening the window "wow! In the White House, I've become president, what about the third request ! he opened his pants and then,
"Waaaaaa!"
Apparently a female camel!

PLANE CRASH


A reporter interviewed the only passenger who survived the plane crash (a circus monkey who can speak).
Journalist: "you can tell me the cause of the accident?"
Monkey: "ok."
Journalist: "when the planes take-off, what is being done all the people?"
Monkey: "passengers are seated, the stewardess demonstrate how to deal with accidents, the pilot hold the steering wheel."
Journalist: "what are you doing?"
Monkey: "i also sat down."
Journalist: after 10 minutes in the air, what is everyone doing?
Monkey: "passengers are seated, the stewardess to share a snack, hold the steering wheel the pilot."
Journalist: "what are you doing?"
Monkey: "eat a banana."
Journalist: "after 20 minutes, the people doing?"
Monkey: "passengers to the toilet, etc., the flight attendants serve the passengers, the pilot hold the steering wheel."
Journalist: "what are you doing?"
Monkey: "i was sitting. "
Journalist: "after 30 minutes, what is everyone doing?"
Monkey: "passengers sleep, flight attendants to the the pilot, the pilot hold the steering wheel."
Journalist: "what are you doing?"
Monkey: "i walk ngikutin stewardess."
Journalist: "after 45 minutes, the people doing?"
Monkey: "passengers fell asleep, kiss stewardess the pilot, the pilot responded continued to feel around."
Journalist: "what are you doing?"
Monkey: "i hold the steering wheel."
Journalist: "no wonder !!!!"

GIGOLO LACK OF NUTRITION


Robby is a young man who boned thin and less muscular. In fact, it looks like people are malnourished.
Once when his pocket was "skint" and he was in need of cash (be advised, he's unemployed), he suddenly had this crazy idea: to become a gigolo. Incidentally he had a male friend who has been accustomed to plunge the world "the gigolo".
"John, give me a swatch of mothers or aunts who gigolo kind of piece I need this!" He said to the gigolo's friend.
"Wow what a coincidence. Yesterday, there are young mothers asking the skinny-boned boy swatch. I think you are perfect, "said Johnny spontaneous.
So on the day "H", he was met by Joni with a young mothers. Surprise, apparently the first day so he's a gigolo is a lucky day. Why not, she is really beautiful, smooth white, feminine look, but firm and rich too. And more surprise anymore, this mother seemed to immediately "crush" to him that it's thin and malnourished.
Long story short, Robby brought the young mother with her BMW car into a luxury home. Arriving at his house, Robby invited straight into her bedroom. And before he does anything, she immediately said, "You take all your clothes, okay!"
As an amateur gigolo, he began groggy, confused and feeling a sense of shame arises. "Let's open it, do not be shy!" She said.
So he began to undress one by one with feelings of shame while watched by a beautiful young mother. After he's really naked ..., her eyes lit up seeing his skinny body!
"You wait here yes, do not go anywhere, I'm going out for a while," she said as she left the room.
Soon after the mother came back into the room followed by two small children. Pointing to the body of Robby, she said to the little children:
"Well, Reyna and Andy, you have to eat a lot, okay! If not, then your body emaciated like this Master ... ... !!!!"

DAMN HUSBAND


A couple recently married was lying. The wife was getting ready for bed while her husband turned on a reading lamp to read a book.
At the middle of reading it, the man paused, reached into his pants and his wife groped her vagina. Then he went on reading. He returned to do this many times so that his wife eventually became aroused. Shortly thereafter, his wife woke up, sat on her husband's body and began to undress and pants.
Her husband was astonished by this act of his wife and asked, "What the hell is this? How come all the clothes off anyway? "
His wife said, "You put your finger over and over again. I think it is warm up and you want to 'make love to me' tonight ... "
"Ah, not at all too!", Replied her husband.
"So, why did you do it continually?"
"I just wet my fingers so I can easily turn the pages in the book I'm reading this ...
"Damn ... &^&$#@%&*!!!"

STUPID DRIVER


At a time when there is a grandmother who wanted to cross it almost at the hit-and motor driver.
The driver of the motor: "Damn grandmother idiot!, If you want to cross the road, be careful"
grandmother: "You are more stupid, hit a granny just can not!"
driver: "?!?! ?? "

CLUBBING WIFE

Two women who lived next door, make an appointment for clubbing together ...
In place of clubbing, they were both drinking until drunk ..
Come home from clubbing, they were on foot .. And suddenly they were dying for a pee .. Because the return path ngelewatin grave, eventually they both decided to urinate on the grave ..
Shortly after urinating ...;
Wife 1: Uh, what you wear to clean it.??
Wife 2: Use PANTIES my alone, I'll direct my exhaust .. if you?
Wife 1: waahhh .. PANTIES my so expensive, just buy more .... loss at all, ahh ..! Then, use the hell ..???
Wife 2: Wear it alone ..! (while pointing at a paper wreath on the tombstone)
With cool, Wife 1 a bouquet of paper flowers to take it for cleaning. And they went home each ...
Tomorrow morning the husband who kesel seen behavior of their wives, talking on the fence ....;
Husband 1: I think our wives have banned dugemh ...!
Husband 2: Yes sir, the last night alone, my wife came home not wearing PANTIES ..!!! Where it's In her panties ..!
Husband 1: Still better, sir .... when my wife sleep. In her groin, was a card saying. The contents of which ...;
"ALL MEMBERS OF OUR ARMED FORCES - MARINES ... WE WOULD NEVER FORGET YOU ... .!!!!"

TOO HAPPY


A Japanese woman was taught that if she was married she should always made her husband happy.
On a morning when they were on their honeymoon, the young woman get out of bed after sex with her husband. Suddenly heard a very loud fart noise.
She saw her husband and said, "Excuse me, the front hole too happy so that the hole behind the follow-whistling."

HAVING AN AFFAIR HUSBAND


Dhani longer eat breakfast while reading the newspaper on the front page. He was suddenly startled by a blow on the back of his head .... "Toennggg ... ... .." the zinc plate who slapped by his wife and just about bald ....
No rain, no wind is treated as such, Dhani angry
"Hey ..! Why did you beat your husband ????"
"Jerk male johns ... .." his wife "who is DEASSY. Do you write her name in the paper in your wallet? "
Dhani was a frenzy, almost caught his affair with DEASSY, fortunately he immediately found a powerful jutsu to dodge ... ..
"O ... ... .. apparently it anyway, DEASSY, it's the name of horse betting, yesterday I had a bet with my friends at the office ...."
Fortunately his wife believe, so do not be a world war broke out ....
Three days later .... "TOENG ..." this time Dhani hamper landing on a bald head with a fit tighter ... Almost .... Dhani angry with his wife ....
"Why'd you hit me, dear?" His wife calmly replied: "Dear ... dear ...., THAT your horse call are looking for you ... ..."

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

SUPER VIAGRA


A man came to the pharmacy to buy powerful drugs.
"Now there is a new powerful drug more potent, sir. Want to try? "Asked the chemist.
"Sure, I want to try. What is the name and privileges? "
"It's name SuperV. By swallowing this pill and says "Pow", your penis will stiffen quickly. If you're satisfied, just say "Wow" and your penis will return limp.

Because it is so expensive, he bought two pills for trials. Arriving at his house, he went into the toilet and try. Swallow a pill and saying "Pow". Immediately his penis up and hardens quickly. Once satisfied, he said "Wow" and his penis back to its original state.

In the evening with aplomb, he was wooing his wife.
When both were in the bed, naked, the man quickly swallowing pills SuperV and saying "Pow".
Once his penis stood proudly, his wife screamed muffled, "Wow."

MEANING OF DEMOCRACY


Albert asked his father the meaning of Democracy. His father then explained that it could be likened to Democracy in the Household. Father acted as the capitalist who made a living, my mother as a Government who manage the results, Albert as a people, younger brother as the Future that need attention, and a servant as a worker.

Once when Albert returned to his home, and found hir younger brother was defecating on the floor. He saw His mother was sleeping soundly. Then Albert go to the room his servant to ask for help. But it turns out he found the father was sleeping with the his servant.

Albert then said to his Father:
"Dad! Now I already know the meaning of democracy, namely the Capitalist "suppress" the workers, the government is sound asleep, the people did not dare to wake, only to see a future full of filth ... "

I ALREADY KNOW IT ALL!!


At school, Stephen was told by a classmate that most adults would hide at least one secret, and that is easy to blackmail them by saying, 'I already know it all'.
Stephen returned home and decided to try it.
When he arrived home, he greeted his mother, he said, "I already know everything."
His mother immediately gave him 20 dollars and said, "Do not tell your father!".
Then, patiently, waiting for the boy's father came home from work, and greeted him by saying, "I already know everything."
His father gave him a quick 50 bucks and say, "Please do not say anything to your mother!"
The next day, when Stephen would go to school, he met with his father in the driver's front door. The boy shook his hand and said,
"I already know everything."
The driver was immediately crouched, holding out his hand and said,
"Come here, son! Hug your father! "

THE STORY OF 3 DEAD PEOPLE


An angel at the door gate between Heaven and Hell are hearing people dead. about this debate that occurred among them:

Angel: "Hey, What is the cause of your death?"
Person 1: "A few minutes ago I was in office, but because suddenly I felt my wife was cheating, I hurry home. Arriving at home, the door was locked. Then I break down the door and found my wife was naked in a corner bed with a messy bed position. I refused to the window and saw a man's hand was hanging, without further ado I was at the hands of these people let him fall and die. After he fell down, I grab my refrigerator and throw it also down, while throwing a refrigerator, a sudden my heart disease recurrence and I joined the refrigerator fell together. "

Angel: "ooh, so. I feel so sorry for you. Next to wear shorts, please tell me the cause of death. "
Person 2: "Look, I'm exercising on the balcony of my apartment, then I slipped and fell, fortunately I was able to hold on to the balcony on the floor below my apartment. But suddenly there was a beat up my hands so I fell, Fortunately, I fell in the trash a soft, but suddenly there was a refrigerator that fell and hit me. So I am here. "

Angel: "very unlucky fate. Please next, people who were naked. Can you tell us how did you come here? "
People 3: "Look, I'm having an affair with someone's wife, suddenly he comes home from work. So I hurriedly hidden in the refrigerator. Do not know why, suddenly I was here. "
Angel: "ooh ...."

RACING OF CAR TIMOR, MERCEDES, AND BMW


A Timor car, sliding across a highway.

Not long after the car was breaking down. A Mercedes stops, and to help the Timor car had to led her behind. At that moment came a BMW, speeding at high speeds. The driver of the Mercedes was intrigued and immediately step on the gas.

Timor driver who pulled in behind the Mercedes honked his horn repeatedly to face ashen. Due to be dragged in "race", the cars 'original' made in Asia had started to fall apart one by one. The door is off, windows were dislodged, flying bolts and nuts.

Incidentally, a TV reporter private car that was speeding, which was crucified vehicle race.

The next day, the private TV station reported:
"Yesterday, a Mercedes and BMW racing car at speeds approaching two hundred miles per hour on a highway. Behind the two cars made in Germany are very famous, a Timor car, made in Asia are not honking incessantly, asking the way to dart forward. "

CORRUPTION! ADVERSE! UNDERSTANDING!


One day, Danny's, Lucky and Stephen came to the office to take the test candidates for Civil Servants. That day the material is an oral interview. One by one they called the interviewer.

Danny entered the room.
Interviewer: "How much is 100 plus 100?"
A: "250, sir"
Interviewer: "Excuse me, you are not accepted. The reason is, you are mentally corruption "
Danny left the room.

Lucky entered the room
Interviewer: "How much is 100 plus 100?"
B: "150, sir"
Interviewer: "Excuse me, you are not accepted. The reason, you are harming the country. "
Lucky out of the room.

Stephen entered the room
Interviewer: "How much is 100 plus 100?"
Stephen: "It's up to you, sir. I am ready to implement "
Interviewer: OK! You are accepted as a Civil Servant! The reason, you are very understanding

3 TWINS


There are 3 twin baby talk in his mother's belly>
Baby 1: Then if I was an adult, I want to be a power company employee. Because the dark here ....
Baby 2: If I want to be an architect, I'll be making a luxury home ... Because here very narrow ...
Baby 3: If I still want to be a detective, I want to investigate who the bald head is often in and out every night while spitting on us three

FLIRT DEATH


The Tony was reading his email, and there is an interesting article on how to get acquainted with the girl. One way is to start a conversation like the following:
Guy: "Excuse me, miss. Do you have a screwdriver? "
Girl: "Ha! No. .. "
Guy: "If nomer hp, have it not you?"
Finally, Tony wanted to try the "seduction of death" is.
And ... In a garden ...
Tony: "Excuse me, miss. Do you have a screwdriver? "
Girl: "Ihave it ... You want a plus or a minus?"
Tony: "Uh .. ngg ?!?,.. please a minus only. If the hammer, do you have it? "
Girl: "I have also .. This .. "
Tony: "(Damn..)? If the wrench, there is not? "(With the full expectation that the girl answered" no ")
Girl: "Ooo .. There were also ... from size 10 to 20. You want a what? "
Tony: "... DAAMMMN ...! F &^%** K .... Okay, I must To the point, miss. Do you have a phone number? "
Girl: "Ooo .. This .. (handing me business cards and brochures Ace hardware). .. If you need a tool, just contact me. Incidentally, I worked in the sales marketing tools the most complete center, Ace hardware! ... "
Tony: ".... My fate ...." (He went with bowed sluggish ..)

ALLOWANCE GIVEN


There was a cattle rancher who is quite successful and has hundreds of cows. One day there came a farm worker who menyamardan asked "every day the cows are eating what you give?". Breeders' oh me give you just eat grass ",

"If so, you are fine because I have been feeding these cows are not worth it" said the officer. "I fine you 200 dollars".

Finally after a few days later the officer came back and asked the same to the farmers. "You give what the cows eat it now?" Said the officer.
The farmer replied "I give to eat cheese, hamburger, & milk".

"If so, I fine you $ 300, for feeding beyond reasonable limits ...!" Said the officer.
Finally a week later the officer comes back and asks you the same thing to the breeder. "What you feed your cows are now ..??" the officer asked. Finally, for fear of the penalty again, the farmer replied

"Look sir, every day all these cows I gave the money each of the three bucks, whatever they want to eat what and where ... .!!!!"

DEPENDS WHO'S LOST


Jhonny on vacation in Spain and watch your opponent Matador Bull. After the game ended and perutpun hungry, he went to a nearby restaurant.

Confused see the menu, Jhonny asked the waiter: "What's special menu of this restaurant?" Waiter: "La pome, Sinor!"
Jhonny: "What's that?"
Waiter: "La pome is a type of oval-shaped steak meat browned, tender and tasty".
Jhonny: "OK, I'm one!"

After he had devoured the dish presented with relish. The next day he returned to the same restaurant after the match finished watching the Matador.
Jhonny confidently said: "La pome, one!"

But when the dishes presented, different from yesterday, today the small, black, bitter, tough again.
And Jhonny was protested: "Why did the meat yesterday big, tender & tasty?"
Waiter: "Yesterday's genitals Bull, Sinor. But today the death Matador was not a bull ".

AMERICAN TOURISTS AND INDONESIAN PEOPLE


One time an American tourist from Indonesia talked with people who are eating hamburgers ...
Tourist: Hey, Indonesian  people, if the rest of the hamburger, here created what?
Indo: Well, in the exhaust ....
Tourists: If in America, if so then snack on exports to Indonesia ...
The Tourists look at a pile of used tires
Tourist: So if tires here for what?
Indo: Well, in the exhaust ....
Tourists: ha ha ha .... if in America, so if the condom and then exported to Indonesia
Indo: (annoyed and then ask back) Then, if the Americans do with a used condom?
Tourist: Well, in the exhaust ...
Indo: ha ha ha ha .... reply in Indonesia, the chewing gum if so then exported to the U.S. ...

RIB BONES


One bright morning when Adam and Eve were seen arguing questioning something that seems impossible at that age ... ...
Eve: "Hey Adam, where were you last night?
Adam: "Oh, I just play to the village next to the cigarettes?
Eve: "You ngibul yes, right in this world there's only us too! Or you're having an affair with an angel girl. yes, right?
Adam: "Uh .. h, well I was having an affair last night as the angel girl."
Eve: "What, were you cheating? Anyway I asked for a divorce today! Basic crocodile! "
Adam: "Please, right ribs there are still some fruit!"
Eve: "Huh .... Hhhhh. (Almost fainted)
Angel: "Insanity is this person." (While shaking his head)

BLOOD BAGS


Once located at the UN headquarters in New York, exactly 12 midnight, the vampire is a mngadakan world gathered for the annual meeting at the top level of the UN building.

As always, at every meeting and gathering, there is a servantwhose job is to provide drink for the vampire who attended.

Because at that time very limited supply of human blood, the bloodprovided an alternative, such as pig blood, cow blood and theblood of some other animal.

First of all, the waiter came to vampire who comes from America,as a host who,
to ask you a drink what he wants.
Dracula from the U.S.. said, "me want just yg fresh pig's blood ..."
Waiter mecatat request his master.

Then he went to the vampire who comes from Japan, while askingSaam thing like the vampire who comes from the U.S..

Dracula from Japan said, "me want just fresh cow blood ..." The waiter wrote it down.

After all the guests on the record vampire drink orders, the waiterfinally came to a vampire who comes from Indonesia.
"Master to drink?", Asked the waiter. the vampire originated fromIndonesia.
"I just want warm water only ...", replied the vampire from Indonesia to relax.
The waiter was. looked puzzled for a moment, then returned she asked about the truth of the answer.
"Excuse me sir ... what I hear ... ?!?", asked the waiter assured.
"Never mind ... me just get warm water ...", said the vampire ofIndonesia confirmed answer back.

Then the waiter who promptly provide the beverages in accordance with the request of the vampire who came from various countries.

And finally the waiter handed her a glass of warm water on avampire from Indonesia, while attention to what will be done by theguests. Not much later, looking vampire who comes from Indonesiareached into his pocket and pulled out a white bag, which at first glance looks like a tea bag. Then he-was doing the same thing asmaking tea bags.

The white package. dicelupkannya into the warm water ... and notmuch later ... as a result of warm water in the glass. all red bloodbath!

Apparently calibaration have calibaration, the white bag. apparentlyused the pads.
"Ahhhh ... Not bad blood bag ... ...", muttered vampire from Indonesiawhile casually enjoying with his bag of blood ... ...

MISUNDERSTANDING


A businessman from the United States is getting major projects inAbu Dhabi - United Arab Emirates, and staying at a five star hotel.Every morning at breakfast promptly at 7:00 tourists have alwaysbeen ready to sit at the table in the hotel restaurant for breakfast.
On one morning, an Arab businessman who happened to stay at the same hotel, eat breakfast 15 minutes late, so he had troublegetting a table, and the coincidence is only one seat left vacantexactly one table with the tourists. Inevitably this finally the Arabswent to the tourist to sit down, and when the Arabs pointed to the empty chair in front of the tourists, the Tourist immediately said,"Good Morning ..."
The Arab somewhat confused, and instantly replied,"Waalaikumsalam ...", then the Arabs immediately sat down to deal with the Tourists.
The next morning, the Arab delayed another 20 minutes, and was forced into an empty seat at the table with the Tourists, Touristsreturn the greeting, "Good Morning ..." and the Arab replied,"Waalaikumsalam ...". This went on every morning for 5 days.
The Arabs began a little curious, she's afraid if her answer waswrong so it can be embarrassing reputation, for that he asked this issue to his fellow Arabs.
The Arab businessmen are asking, "Hey buddy, I'm five days latebreakfast this morning, and always gets to sit at a table with a tourist. And when I want to sit down, tourists are always greeted by saying Good Moning, and I answered Waalaikumsalam. What do you think my answer is correct Wan? ".
His companion replied, "I do not know it perfectly well what was wrong, I know the country the tourists they do not greet each other.But if I want to know the answer betulnya's easy ... "
The Arab businessmen immediately replied, "how to .., how do Ifind out the answer betulnya?"
His companion replied, "That's easy, you come to breakfasttomorrow morning from the Tourists, and sit in the same place,when the tourists come, you should greet him with Good Moning,just like that every morning he has to say, then listen to what her answer was "
The Arab businessman thought for a moment, "Well, well what you say, it's the easiest way to know the answer. Tomorrow I will apply ityour way "
The next morning, the Arabs arrived at the restaurant earlier thaneveryone, and he sat at the usual place. Promptly at 7:00 thetourists come, the Arab smiled as he said, "Good Morning ...", andalso the Tourist instantly replied, "Waalaikumsalam ..."
(Apparently the tourists get me wrong, he thinks it's Arabicwaalaikumsalam good morning, because every time he heard itfrom the Arabs. The Arabic is also understood to be wrongbecause ultimately he thinks that good morning is the same asassalamualaikum)

TWO SMALL CHILDREN


Two small children, Joni and joan playing in a park, and they started an argument about which one is better, men or women.
After a long argument, Johnny stood up and opened his pants. then said, "Men are better than women because he has that one is!"

Joan saw joni with enthusiasm, because he realized that she did not have that one. She then cried and ran to her house to find her mother.
A moment later she came out with a big smile. "My mom says women are better than men '
Joni denied and opened his pants, "but you do not have this other one!"
Joan only see Joni, then lifted her skirt, and said, "My mom says as long as I have this one .... I can get it at will like me! "

THREE REQUESTS


One day, Kevin and Jonathan is looking for firewood into the wilderness. They found a monkey who crushed stone. Then they freed the monkey. Apparently it is monkey magic monkey. As a thank you, the monkey magic it promised to grant 3 wishes each.

Monkey: What is your petition Jonathan?
Jonathan: I want all people in the west so all the beautiful girls.
Monkey: I grant O.K. Kevin, what you demand?
Kevin: I want just a motorcycle ....
Monkey: For what bike? but let I turn down. Now the second request, what is your request?
Jonathan: I want all people in the east so all the beautiful girls.
Kevin: If I want a helmet only.
Monkey: Well, I grant your request. Now the third request.
Jonathan: I ask all people around the world so all the beautiful girls.
Monkey: wow .... turns out you girls mania, but as my thanks, I'll grant. Kevin is now your turn, what are you want?
Kevin: I want ... .... my friend, Jonathan ... .... become a Homo ...

TWO - FOUR


There was a father who has a boy aged 5 years. The boy has a bad habit that every time he pee his pants are always wet urine.
The father then taught the steps that must be done by the child so that no urine splattered on his pants. Thus these steps.
1. Open trousers
2. Pull the skin that covered it
3. piss it
4. Close the skin again
5. Done.
The father then told his son to remember the steps he teaches. In order to quickly memorized, the father told the child to urinate every time also recites a step by step. After some time ... one day the father listened to her recite the steps he teaches ... but there is an oddity that makes the father a little surprised .. due to hear the child recite the following steps steps.
1-2-4-2-4-2-4-2-4-2-4 ... ... .. -2-4-2-4

RELAX, THERE'S NO SHARK


When my friend and I went swimming in the river Zambezi Mozambique, I asked a boy who is engrossed in fishing if there are sharks in the rivers.

The boy replied: "No!"
Then my friend and I jump into the river and start swimming. But I do not believe, then after a few minutes to convince I again wondering if true there is no sharks in the water.
He replied: "Here there is no sharks! Because sharks are afraid of crocodiles here! "

THE WRONG HIT PEOPLE


A hostess had made a burglar who battered into her house one night. The thief forced to in-patient in hospital for several days because it was terrible.

After requesting an explanation, the chief of police with admiration praising the greatness of the lady.
Police: "He is to be cared for in hospital, at least for three weeks. Hopefully he gets a lesson. "

But the lady looks as if a very heavy burden. He drew a deep breath.

Mistress: "I do not mean to hurt him, let alone bad. It was purely by mistake, sir. "
"A mistake? ! "Asked the surprised chief.
Mistress: "Yes, a mistake! When he was tried to enter the house through the kitchen window I thought he was my husband who just got home from the bar. "

INDIAN HORSE SADDLERY


Marlene, a beautiful secretary from Philadelphia, was the first journey across America. In a desert, he was forced to stop because her car out of gas. An Indian gave him a lift to ride horses.

During the trip, every few minutes the Indian screamed loudly to the sounds echo throughout the desert. Finally, Marlene down at a gas station and the Indians went by shouting, "Yah-hoo!" His last.

"Whay did You do with the red leather." Asked the owner of the pump. "Until he was screaming like that?"
"I do not anything about" Marlene said. "I just sat quietly behind him. I put my arm around his waist, while holding tightly to the saddle horn. "
"Lady," the man said, "The Indians ride a horse without a saddle!"

CLEVER PARROTS ...


My neighbor's parrot is smart, he can know the color of women's underwear who used ... there are cute girl named lisa .. he want to test the intelligence of parrots is "true or not if the parrot could guess my underwear .." murmured Miss Lisa. One time she passed in front of the parrot and the parrot sound .. "yellow, .. yellow .. "Damn, how come he knows it. Miss Lisa pass again the next day, the parrot says again .. pink .. pink .. ".. so annoyed, the next day, Ms. Lisa pass again, without wearing panties. The parrot did not say anything ... "You give up ..." muttered Miss Lisa ... not long later, the parrot screamed .. Long-haired .. long-haired .. long-haired ... "" '

GRANDPA ... I TURNED WITH YOU


The two couple enjoy intimacy to senior citizens. A grandfather took his wife dinner at a restaurant. Long story short, the food was served. Grandpa began to eat, while the granny smiled at the grandpa. A while later, "honey, why do not you eat?" Asked the grandpa. "Later Grandpa, turns" the granny replied, smiling. A while later, "what you do not like the food?" Asked the grandpa. "No, Grandpa," said the granny. "So ... Why do not you eat?" The old man asked again curious, because the granny had been just smiling alone. "I forgot to wear dentures, so waiting grandpa finished" continued the granny

DANGERS OF MASTURBATION FOR WOMEN


Little information that may be useful for women who like tomasturbate

Last week when me in the hospital keep duty in Atambua, mecoming half-old female patient, age 50, still looks OK, she gripedwhen urinating sometimes there is pain. As a doctor, I do regular checks, including having the lady check urine.

Tomorrow morning, the lady piss and put into bottles and sentservants to bring the bottle to the hospital laboratory. When it was raining heavily, and the lady's servants suddenly slipped and fell, causing the broken bottle he was carrying. She would ask his employer to report and urinate again but scared, definitely scolded.Then she thought, I'd better replace the disposable my piss only,rather than scolding got.

Finally the servant looking for bottles and urine. then sent to aclinical laboratoryand she returned with a receipt and then handed over to the employer. The next day, the lady came back on mymedication, as she brought the laboratory results, and me reallyshocked, then me asked the lady, "do you have a husband?" Shereplied: "no doc, I've long become a widow, my husband died".

I asked again: "sorry madam, if you have a boyfriend or a guy who likes to accompany you?" (I must be careful to ask her) Shereplied: "oo there is no doc, I was at home alone anyway, at most,take a bit of social activity". I became more confused, but as a doctor I should be authoritative in the presence of the patient,eventually I just say: "Madame (in a tone as smooth as possible) ....of the results of laboratory examinations, I have to congratulate you,because it turns out you're pregnant. So maybe the pain when youurinate, it can be caused by pregnancy mistress and for that I givethe recipe and cover letter to the lady referred to a gynecologist totake care of your health. I see the face expression of the landlady,very pale. I also sorry anyway! Finally she walked with unsteadysteps back.

Arriving at the house the lady ran into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator and then take the eggplant purple .. then she slam-slamonto the table until the eggplant is destroyed with a curse: "damnyou eggplant, eggplant damn you. because of you I becamepregnant, how will my child apparently, lest later on his face purple,damn you, I do not want to use you again, I learned my lesson. ....!

LEARNING TO COUNT


In a class of Play Group, a teacher asked her students: "Who can count?" ....
A kid named Gerald then raised his hand.
Teacher: "What can you count?"
Gerald: "I could, my father who taught"
Teacher: "Well, we try, .. After three,, How much? .. "
Gerald: "Four .."
Teacher: "Good,,, After six what?"
Gerald: "Seven."
Teacher: "After nine what?"
Gerald: "Ten .."
Teacher: "you're very clever!"
"Apparently his father taught him really ...." Think of the teacher
Teacher: "Then after ten how much?? ..."
Gerald: "Jack ... .. Queen and King ....

COME ENTER


A bride and groom, Cindy and Anderson, going through his firstnight. After the event ended, this bridal pair entered the room. In the room was stacked gifts from their peers. One by one gift is opened, the sudden Cindy laughed in delight. What article? Turns out he found a shoe containing gifts ... he would try to wear, theseshoes were too small. He continued to insist, but in vain. Andersonwho can not bear to see, keep asking:

Anderson: "Why, too narrow?"
Cindy: "Yes dear, very sick nih ..."
Anderson: "I enter so slowly?"
Cindy: "Yes dear, but do not be so loud?"

Her husband helped put a shoe on the foot of his wife's narrow withlittle force.

Cindy: "... dear it's sick,  it is too small ..."
Anderson: "Hold dear, yes I try again?"

Without them knowing it, the bride's parents, Mrs. Kathrine,eavesdrop again behind the bride's door ... the bride's mother isapparently thought differently ... he did not have the heart to thesisters of children who experience difficulty the first night, so noresistance, the bride's mother was forced to interrupt from behind the door.

Mrs. Kathrine: "Why my child, difficult entry?"
Cindy: "Yes mom ..."
Anderson: "smallness anyway, aunt  ..."
Mrs. Kathrine: "Try topical with saliva ..."
Anderson: "I'll try aunt."
Cindy: "come on,  honey, smeared with saliva ..."

With haste groom smeare the entire surface of the foot of his wife with saliva.

Anderson: "come Try to enter it again, dear?"
Cindy: "okay, dear ..."
Once inserted legs spread with saliva before, it is easy to enter.
Anderson: "Aha ... go right now?"
Cindy: "Yeah ... but ..."
Anderson: "Why, it’s still sick?"
Cindy: "Yeah, but it was not so hell, even already good."
Mrs. Kathrine: "Well ...  get in right? Now we just rocked, son. "..

THE OTHER PARROT, IS THE CREATOR OF THE SONG


In a bird shop, has 2 parrot. Both birds were different, one likes playing around and the other just said nothing, come one wants to buy a parrot. He said to the bird seller:
Buyer: How much of this parrot, sir ...?
Seller: who likes to sing If it's 100 dollars, while the rest was 300 dollars.
Buyer: Why are the likes singing cheaper than just stay quiet.
Seller: well .... obviously different because, parrot that cost 1 million was the creator of the song really.

MADE IN ENGLAND


In Bali there is a mute boy who was walking along the beach and there are tourists from British who wanted to launch their attempt to speak the Indonesian language with Indonesian tourists every day one day they will meet with the child's mute
tourists: what is your name, son
children: auh auh
and then the child writes his name in the sand that is "I MADE INDARTA" and the tourist said,
"you're so smart english!" then tourists also wrote in the sand "I MADE IN ENGLAND"

EYE WASH, HAND WASH, MOUTH WASH


There are 3 women they asked the priest.
female 1: Father last night I saw a penis
Pastor: Quick wash your eyes
Woman 2: If I hold the penis last night
Pastor: Quick wash your hands
Woman 3: Wash mouth ach!

5 SECRETS OF THE PERFECT WIFE


1. A wife is beautiful, smart primp, cooking and keeping house is important.
2. A wife is cheerful, energetic, can make us laugh and cheer in times of difficulty and fun are also important.
3. A wife is understanding, pious, honest and trustworthy obedient worship ... it is very important.
4. A wife who can understand and satisfy your inner and outer ...
5. But the most important thing is, the four wives of the above do not get to know each other ....

DUE TO EXPENSIVE MEAT


One day a young man was innocent and unemployment bargaining prostitutes in localization.
Youth: "Miss, one night .. how much?"
Hookers: "Two hundred and fifty thousand ..!!"
Youth: "Wow, very expensive ... I have only fifty thousand, can not ..?
"No way .. enter the door just kept clamped, free ..??!!!", prostitute replied curtly.

While the boy came home upset thinking how to be cheap. The next day with a paramedic uniform boy pretending to examine the urine of the prostitutes in the localization.
Youth: "Ladies, I'm from the health department, I asked for urine samples each 1 cup ..."
Long story short the young man had a jerry can of water to the prostitutes of art. In the spirit of the young man saying goodbye and promising laboratory results were sent tomorrow.

Arriving at his home, the young man poured directly into the basin Semple urine, then he entered the room and opened his pants. With the passion of the young birds to enter into a basin of water adored art, saying, "..., since meat is expensive, you drink the sauce, okay?"

THE DESIRE OF YOUNG MOTHERS


One day a young mother came to me and said that her husband wanted to marry again, I replied "Do not listen to his will".
A week later he came back told me that her husband was really married again, I replied "Do not follow his will".
After three weeks later he came back again to me and said that her husband would divorce her.
I replied "Then just follow what he wants and get back here sooner"

BIG BUSINESS


A young man sent him a sweater she bought for 200 dollars. So that his father did not get angry, he said that the price of clothes was only 10 dollars. A week later his father called, "Oh wonderful!" He exclaimed, "I successfully sell clothes is 25 dollars. It's big business, quickly send a dozen more!! ".

SOLDIERS AND STRIPTEASE DANCER


Long served on the battlefield made the soldiers were tired and lonely. To entertain them the commander to bring an exotic dancer from a nearby town. The commander himself understand, so do not go but straight into the room.

When the girl started dancing seductive, all soldiers are watching exploded in the fray. They applauded nonstop for 5 minutes. When the stripper started to take off outer clothing and writhed sensually with a bra and g-string, the applause grew even longer, 10 minutes without stopping.

Madness intensified, so when the bra is removed. Applause sounded very lively and continued to connect more than 15 minutes. The commander asked them to quiet down to wait for the dance peak.

Finally came the main dish. The dancers took off the last piece and weaving without a single yarn in sexy body. Every now and then lifted or opened her legs wide as he inserted his finger into his mouth.

She also dive toward the soldiers, with a sigh. For 10 minutes he was doing his best dance. The commander had envisioned the roof of the room will collapse but strangely did not hear any sound. There is no pat tangam no cheer-squad. Silence.

Exotic dancer ended his show and then went to the commander room.
"What happened? Why no applause? ", Asked the commander.
The striptease dancer replied, "So they could only clap with one hand Commander!"
soldiers apparently playing his penis are in each ...